Everything is Hard Right Now

I’ve been away for a bit. The anti-trans, anti-gay, anti-abortion, anti-book, anti-education, anti-voting bills sweeping the nation are killing me and my hope for the future. I thought we were progressing to a better future slowly over time, but these bigots have been out there all along – waiting on the sidelines to seize power again.

I have to remind myself that these people are NOT the majority. We aren’t completely losing ALL progress. I just don’t know that for sure, though, I guess. This shouldn’t be happening otherwise.

When my state had a hearing on one of the bills, I went in front of my state legislature and testified against the anti-trans youth bill here in my state. They looked at me, listened to my family’s story, listened to my tears, and progressed the bill to the next level anyway. These people are awful. I couldn’t bear showing up for the others – and I couldn’t take all of the time off work to do so. I regret it a bit, wishing I could have been there for all of them. I’m exhausted just even working out being there for one, though, and having them not even listen.

It’s baffling how the people pushing for these bills say they want “less government interference” in their lives, they want “freedom” and all that, etc. However, they are pushing their beliefs and personal views/agendas into further government interference/overreach. Their playbook is to rally on freedom and less government when it is convenient for them, but then turning around and wielding that same government power as a weapon.

I was finding comfort in the fact that these bills have a history of being shut down in court, but that has faded once I realized what the goal is here. With the Supreme Court full of the judges it is – the ones that overturned Roe, they are gearing up to have them overturn further settled law/rights. If this isn’t stopped, we are headed back to the 1930s or earlier. I don’t know what to do exactly, but I do know that I won’t shut up about it. I won’t back down.

When I was a child, I remember reading about the Holocaust (I’m not sure why, I was obsessed with the history of it) and imaging what I would have done to save all of those people if I could. Wondering why the people didn’t see the signs along the way. I remember reading/learning about the Civil Rights movement, Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, etc – wondering how people treated them the way that they did and being so thankful that was over. Imagining having to stand up for people in that time and how it would have gotten me killed in some cases. Now here we are – I may be the person I wondered what it would be like to be. I may have to make those choices when I’m in public. I may have to fight for others and my daughter, etc. I may be at risk of being killed for protecting her or others. I may be at risk of being killed for speaking up and doing the right thing. I could be put in prison for taking my daughter to the prison or if I wore something that someone considered to be “man’s clothes” and to put it briefly – I’m terrified.

Sitting here watching the world happen around me, writing letters, going to the capitol with hopes that someone will listen – it all feels like just being tied up and not being able to do anything as the world collapses around me.

I know that awful things are happening in other countries as well – and this only adds to it. For any global readers, I feel for you and the struggles you face in your location as well. I know there is more to the world and its problems than what is happening in America. This is my life and my home, though, and it’s crumbling around me – so I am very upset. Adding into that the thought of the global atrocities happening to everyone is even more awful on top of that. When I think of all the things happening around the globe – things I do know about, and all the additional awful things that I don’t even know about, I crumble. The world deserves better. Every person on every continent, in every country.

I wish we could understand that the earth is our home, and everyone on it is our neighbor and our family. We need to come together and be ONE people. Accepting of all of our differences. Every person has a right to their religion, their beliefs, their love. We need to not hurt one another. We need to not ban one another. We need to work together and DO BETTER.

If you’re reading this, thank you for taking the time. Can you do me a favor? A favor for the world?

Please find some things from this list and do them. As few or as many as you can manage. It’s our job to fix this world.

  • Do something kind for someone you don’t know
  • Try to meet someone different than you, and listen to understand them better
  • The next time you go to judge someone’s life, think about what it would be like to feel the way they do
  • Write a “Thank You” letter to a leader that is fighting for people’s rights
  • Read a book about a genocide or civil rights movement
  • Watch a documentary or movie about a genocide or civil rights movement
  • Make a donation to an organization that is working for the advancement or protection of people’s rights
  • Read a book that helps you understand a religion you don’t know much about
  • If you reference data or a study, check to see if there is more information from multiple data points or studies or if this is a lone source proving this point
  • Check your sources for biases (Sites like this can help: https://mediabiasfactcheck.com )
  • Check what bills/laws/policies are being proposed in your area and speak out in support of good ones, and against bad ones
  • Read more books in general – they help with empathy and understanding other points of view
  • When you spend money, see where the company you are spending with puts their money (donations to good or bad causes, etc)

Transphobia in my Inbox

So, let’s talk about harassment. I don’t really want to much – except for the fact that I received a harassing message last night from someone I have not seen in years. It was filled with transphobic accusations and theories. It almost felt as if a QANON talking point list was being spewed at me or something, I don’t know. I’m going to share the screenshots with you below. Please note: MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING for these.

First of all, this person knows nothing about my child’s medical history or any decisions we are making medically. Nor is it any of his business.

Second of all, a lot of these things he is saying are just not true. Nobody is trying to do sex-changing surgery on children. That is an adult decision. Hormone changes are completely separate from surgery, and while I understand that some people may have concerns about it- there is nothing wrong with moving forward with hormone treatment for a child that is going through puberty and developing a body that makes them want to die.

I would rather have a child who needs to reverse hormone changes than a dead child. My daughter was incredibly suicidal prior to coming out. As are many trans youth.

Why would anyone be comfortable sending this to a person in general let alone someone they have not spoken to in 10+ years? Why do people think that this is okay? Why does anyone think I CHOSE to have a trans child? Why does anyone thinks anyone CHOOSES to be trans? Why would anyone choose that life for themselves or their children? It is a scary life filled with facing people like this. Facing ignorance and hatred.

This person’s profile says that they are working to become a psychotherapist. I sure hope that doesn’t happen, for the sake of everyone else.

Introduction

I guess I’m not necessarily fleeing my mom (or my wonderful grandma) but I am looking for a little independence, a place to express myself, and perhaps a bit more anonymity in my sharing.

When creating a blog, apparently, one must ask, “What do I write about?” I’m still asking myself that but I decided to start with a topic that I live and breathe each day – being a parent.

I’m a mother of two wonderful, beautiful daughters. Since this is “anonymous” to a degree and I don’t have to worry about outing anybody in this way – I’ll share that my oldest daughter is a trans teen. So as you can imagine, life has been tricky lately. The world isn’t kind to everyone and, unfortunately, trans youth are the getting dealt a pretty shit hand in the media/politics at the moment. Our family worries everyday – though I can get into that more in the future.

I’m sure along this blog-starting adventure, you’ll watch me navigate my thoughts and I’ll be all over the place for a bit. I would love to exercise my writing here and grow in this space.

It should be a fun new start. If it was a perfect world, I’d gain a few followers and few nice comments along the way. In reality, I’ll probably get some troll comments if anything at all. Whatever happens, I’m going to give it a shot.

Future posts to come regarding:

-LGBTQ+ Rights

-LGBTQ+ Parents / Parenting

-Peaceful Parenting

-Parenting Mishaps

-Trans Youth

-Thoughts / Expression of a Parent

-Family Drama

-Growth and Learning

+More

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